A modern poem

A modern poem

11/11/04

Criticism of Mecklenburg voters for their actions in the election of Nov. 1776.

10/24/2012

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Cox, Danielle

Silberberg, Jules (Metadata)

Butler, Collin (transcriber)

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Ms. 107, A modern poem, Mecklenburg, N.C., 1777.

English

ms107

A modern Poem by the Mecklenburg Censor
Published AD 1777
To the Electors of Mecklenburg

Gentlemen,

The following poem came sometime ago by accident into my hands, in which I find some things that will probably offend many of my good friends in this County. Yet I am of opinion that it contains many useful hints which ought not to be concealed from the public at this critical conjecture. I have therefore thought it my duty, as an impartial but sincere friend to the inhabitants of the county, to give you an opportunity of perusing it.

The Censor ridicules the confused and unthankful
conduct of the freemen of Mecklenburg, at the election held last November, with a severity that I thought unjustifiable, until I saw that the same spirit of insipid indifference prevailed at our last election, held the 10th day of March.

He also disapproves of the men you have chosen and indeed I have great reason to believe from your conduct and public sentiment that you yourselves disapprove of your choice. For what other reason has induced you to hold elections for field officers of the Militia and Justices of the peace - a power by our Congress very judiciously vested in the General Assembly? And why the very particular instruction you have given your Representatives? If you were convinced that you had chosen honest men, you would surely trust something to their management. But instead of this you are so dubious of their integrity that you do every thing yourselves, and find them only as messengers to inform the assembly what your will & pleasure is. Strictly by your orders our Representatives must abide or do nothing. Quere would not those instructions in writing, signed by a number of leading men in the county, and sent to the Assembly by a thrifty negroe, answer the same end? If you expected that your Representation were to answer any purpose, would you choose one of that class of men which you always suspected of corrupting your laws and constitution, a Lawyer? And one too whose interest (if he has any) lies in another country at any rate is not a freeholder in this and never thinks proper to reside in it but when a Court is held, at which he may scrape up a few pence, or when he would wheedle you to elect him representative, an honour which the people where his interest lies are not foolish enough to confer on him?

I sincerely wish that all party feuds were extinguished in this county, as I verily believe that most of the people at present study more to mortify an opposite party, than to promote the general wellfare.

Your sincere friend,
The Editor




A modern Poem

When Mecklenburg's fantastic rabble
Renown'd to censure, scold and squabble
At Charlotte met in giddy council
To lay the constitution's ground fill
By choosing men most learn'd and wise
Who clearly could with half shut eyes
See millstones through, or spy a plot
Whether existed such or not
Who always could at noon define
Whether the sun or moon did shine
And by philosophy knew whether
It was clear or rainy weather
And sometimes, when their wits were nice
Could well distinguish men from mice

(1) Squire Subtle then to Sulky came
(2) Sulky a lawyer mean in fame
Sulky, he said, my friend pray hear
I've things important for your ear



'D'ye mark yon silly rabble rout?
Who talk they know not what about

Who by the nose, like colts are led.
'Quere, isn't this our time to speed ?
'You know, my friend, the vulgar views,
I guide to ill just as I choose.
'By hypocritic cant and prayer,
To what I say I make them swear.
'Lend me your hand, as sure as fate
I'll make you rich, I'll make you great,
And to the Congress strait I'll send you,
And every help I there will lend you.
But what I tell you still obey,
Lie, perjure, every trust betray

Let public good to private yield,
Until our empty bags are filled

(3) Pay equal tax to brother Quirk,
He'll do your business in a jerk.'
"Grim Sulky gave the applauding grin.
And yields assent with all his chin.
To you and Quirk my soul I'll sell.'
To you and Quirk my soul I'll sell.'
He every wrinkle then expands.
And gives his thanks with lifted hands.
Into the Assembly now they rushed,
With glowing hopes sublimely flush'd,
Where Subtle thus harangues the crowd,
With gesture strong and accent loud.
'My countrymen, poor, senseless throng,
O'er whom I've watched with care so long

Although I move in higher spheres,
Nor feel your little hopes and fears,
My godlike mind can deign to bend,
And sometimes to your needs attend.
I oft to heaven your case prefer,
('And I have mighty interest there,)
By me it is the hosts on high,
Regard you with a pitying eye

By me it is each civil right
Is not obliterated quite

'My wisdom's power at council board
(4) 'Redeemed you from a home-bred lord
Who else e'er this had stripped your skin,
(5) 'As bare as good friend Sulky's chin
By me it is that learning lives,
By Sulky and by me it thrives,
Who on it have employ'd our stores
(6) 'Of coppers even many scores,
'At least one score by it I've lost,
'If I said two I should not boast

Since such my merit I demand
You choose me member out of hand
Else hence my aid I'll all withdraw
Nor mind you more than empty straw.
'"He said : Then long-ehin'd Sulky rose,
First wip'd his mouth, then blow'd his nose,
And yawning wide he thus began:
Remember, friends, I am the man,
Who in provincial council sat,
'Debating much on schemes of State,

And great emoluments had brought,
By stress of lungs and stress of thought

Had not mj compeers, empty sots,
'Despised all my earthen pots,
You had not eat your victuals fresh,
But fitly season'd all your flesh,
Your beef, your mutton, pork and pullet,
'Th' adored idols of my gullet.
A plan I fram'd by which the ocean
('Conformed exactly to my notion)
Had yielded all her copious stores,
And poured her salt upon our shores.
(7) 'A crock of wondrous shape and size,
Such ne'er was seen by human eyes,
'Had o'er the beach its basin spread,
Forming a deep capacious bed,
Wherein the briny wave inurn'd
Should by the sun to salt be turn'd.
'But jibing fools my crock withstood,
And sneer'd it to its native mud

While you, my friends, the boon lament,
The boon my project might have lent
Now listen, Gentles, if you please,
(8) How I bemaul'd the Cherokees,
When arm'd all o'er in dread array
To Indiantown I bent my way,
Resistless through the village broke,
And much potatoes captive took.
'To this the troops can witness bear,
Who of the captives had a share
But more than this, have I not been
A patron to the college scheme?
(9) 'Did not I here a school erect,
And with my influence it protect?
In chimney corner I begot it, 'And from my fruitful body brought it

'Its father, mother, midwife I,
'Tis purely then my progeny—(all laugh)
Restrain, my friends, this noisy mirth
Squire Subtle saw the wondrous birth
And old reports the fact will prove,
For Pallas sprung from head of Jove.

'My learning, too, you know is great,
'In all the tricks and wiles of State
Able I am from any block,
To hew a police or a crock,
And any law can quickly make,
To hang a man or whip a snake,
To fix your right in land or pin,,
Or castigate you when you sin. '
Since such my learning and great merit,
To any lawyer I'll refer it,
'If I have not the justest claim,
To all the honors you can name.
Your votes you cannot fail to give,
If you have any sense alive
And if you don't by G I swear,
'You're fools too great for earth to bear,
And Subtle shall with book and bell,
'Soon pray you all to hell.
The Sheriff now with awful voice.
Had signified the people's choice


Old Subtle heard himself proclaim'd,
(10) And Sulky, too, with Sharp Shears nam'd

His furious joy iii rapture breaks.
And Sulky's chin in concern shakes.
He draws his brother Quirk aside.
And thus he pours th' exulting tide:
'How happy now our scheme's on foot,
We could not wish a tittle to't

'Sharp Shears and Sulky well I knew,
As I direct will say or do.
I'll make them lie, and cringe, and swear,
'And of the profits give you share

(11) But this observe, when I'm displaced,
('For so I must be, and disgraced,)
When e'er some meddling soul shall rise,
To ope the blinding vulgar eyes,
'Unfold the selfish schemes I've built,
And trace my secret paths of gnilt
Then take my place, my steps pursue,
And plot for me, I plot for you

Shai'p Shears and Sulky will agree
To tool for you as well as me

(12) The Charlotte trimmer, too, I ween,
At home will throw his interest in

Come let us then to greatness soar,
'The glittering prospect lies before:
We'll gain it soon, pursue, pursue

The happy goal is full in view.'
"Quirk thought it best to check his pride,
And thus the cautious knave replied:
Take care, my brother, how you steer

Your sanguine rashness much I fear

Sharp Shears and Sulky both may aid
If in the dark they are wisely led

But never let the blockheads know
Expressly what you mean to do

Tor if your secret they possess,
'They'll spoil it by their emptiness,
Make such a bustle, such a rout,
The veriest fool may find it out.
'Sharp Shears, fat head, can never span
The intricate intrigues we plan,
Nor guide with such a steady grace,
'As long can cheat the populace



The shallow current soon will show
The filthy trash that lies below.
Sulky, you know, how false his boast
Of feats performed on Indian coasts,
Of Indian towns to pieces shaken,
And huge potatoes captive taken.
'You know his scheme of marsh-mud kettle,
Made like himself of feeble mettle,
And twenty things that prove the fool
Is only fit to serve as tool.
'By acting thus secure and sly,
We'll never at their mercy lie
They can't in weakness or in pet
Expose us to the public hate,
If they should fail us we'll others get,
Will serve our purposes as fit.
'If any should reflect upon us,
'We'll stop their mouths with empty honours

The lucrative engrossing gold
Our children and ourselves will hold
And if at length we be detected,
When we've a mass of wealth collected,

We'll try corruption's potent force,
To keep us steady in our course,
And drive the rabble into measures
By distribution of their treasures.'
“Quere” cried Subtle, in a transport,
If you are not the very man for it

Most wisely you the plot have laid,
"And I will act just as you've said.
'Oh, how my soul with rapture swells,
When on the pleasing thought it dwells
Of holding rank 'bove vulgar fate,
And supping mush and milk of State

Of giving to the rabble law,
While low they cringe with humble awe

Seeing my grounds by negroes till'd,
'And all my chests with dollars fill'd,
'A blaze of glory round my head,
My house a little palace made

My fair-haired son no more you'll see,
(13) 'Affrighted, climb a hickory tree, 'But arm'd with power and mighty sway,
Compel the county to obey.


Adieu, dear Quirk, I must be gone,
Still bear in mind what we've begun.'
"My countrymen, I pray you, think,
You're tottering on ruin's brink

Oh, think, e'er long 'twill be too late,
I tremble for the birth of fate.
E'er long you'll find the Squire and Quirk,
More absolute than Moor or Turk,
And cause you more exquisite pains,
Than tyrant George's galling chains.
Be wise, my friends, and choose such men
As will your freedom still maintain,
Make private ends to public yield,
Contend, and never quit the field,
Until your rights are all secure,
By laws and ordinances pure

Mark this, nor need advice again, sirs,
Similar to the Mecklenburg Censor's.

Finis.


Characters and notes of information:

(1) 'Squire Subtle—Hezekiah Alexander, Esq., a shrewd, sensible, cunning man, who had deservedly great influence in the county, having been for many years a magistrate, always taking an active part in the direction and nianegement of public affairs.

(2) Sulky—Waightstill Avery, Esq., a lawyer of no very considerable eminence in his profession. He formerly made his home at Hezekiah Alexander's, but since the Courts were shut and all procedure of law were interrupted by the breach between Great Britain and America, he has been almost continually engaged in the public service.

(3) Quirk—John McKnitt Alexander, Esq., brother to Hezekiah Alexander, and equally active in public matters. He was delegated to the Provincial Congress, and since the new Constitution was introduced has been chosen member of the Senate.

(4) The person here alluded to (in the mouth of 'Squire Subtle, called a homebred lord,) is Col. Thomas Polk, who is something like the novas homo of the Romans, having risen to wealth and honor from . state of poverty and meanness. He was formerly member of Assembly a number of years, and has been much employed in public services, in all of which he was ever mindful of his own private emolument. Some jealousy has subsisted between him and Mr. Alexander, their views having not always coincided.

(5) Mr. Avery has received from nature long chin, which she has left almost entirely beardless.

(6) Mr. Alexander once brought up from Charlestown parcel of coppers, which he distributed in the county. He is charged by some with being too parsimonious.

(7) Mr. Avery made a motion in the convention concerning the erecting of salt works on the seacoast of their State. Whether he pro-posed such a basin as is here described I can not tell. A resolution, however, was made that the salt works should be erected, and Mr. Avery was appointed one of the commissioners.

(8) Mr. Avery was out in the expedition against the Cherokees last year.


[illegible] not forfeit to grant [illegible] an academy.

Robert Irwin Esqr formerly member of the [illegible] commons for this country. Some bills for services [illegible] the public fell under his cognizance, and some of the charges appearing exorbitant he would not admit them. For receiving these he was honoured with the name Sharp Shears. His character is very good.

The election here spoken of [illegible] held last November. In the election held the 10th of March last Mr. Hezekiah Alexander did not set up himself as candidate.

(12). The person intended by the Charlotte trimmer is Mr. Jeremiah McCafferty, merchant in this town. A man of fortune and influence, but not a zealous partizan for which reason perhaps he is called a trimmer.

In the Indian war last fall in some alarm or other Mr. Alexander’s son, it is said, did actually climb a hickory tree. He was called by way of derision Forty foot, as though forsooth he had jumped so high up the tree, when he saw danger threatening.

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